To see if you are making progress towards reaching your potential, listen to your own thoughts. Your own view of yourself is the first and most important sign of your progress. Here are some thoughts that might indicate you are not satisfied with how much you have achieved so far:

What thoughts are spinning in your head?

If you have at least 3 of these thoughts in your head while playing Bingo, then maybe you are about to experience a personal crisis, and this article is written specifically for you.

Or in psychology terms, you are unaware of your values.

Many times, we don't reach our full potential because we're not sure about what we really want and where to find it. We live a life that society sees as correct or even successful, but it's not always what truly aligns with our values and desires. To unlock our potential, we need to understand what truly matters to us and take action in that direction.

Understanding your true values can be the key to unlocking your potential. After all, it is your personal life values that guide you, inspire you, and give meaning to your life. They highlight the areas in which you can best self-actualize and derive enjoyment.

What can you do?

Start by reflecting on and defining your true life values. To avoid getting confused by temporary wants, other people's wishes, or fads, reach out to a cognitive-behavioral therapy expert. They can help you differentiate your true values from socially acceptable answers, like "Family, Career, Friends." By doing this, you will feel like you are living your own life instead of chasing someone else's dream.

If you'd like to give it a shot yourself, I can provide you with a comprehensive guide on how to identify your personal values. It includes effective techniques and strategies based on cognitive-behavioral therapy research.

It is important to not only know your values but also to integrate them into your life by creating goals and plans that align with them. By doing so, you can move towards your full potential and live a life that is true to you.

Often, this does not happen, and people continue to live according to other people's values and trends. For example, they may be too self-critical or adhere to excessively high standards. Therefore, even after identifying their own values with a cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) therapist, they still struggle to make changes. They may believe that their potential or values are not compelling enough to rebuild their lives around them.

This person is struggling to accept themselves and is more focused on conforming to societal standards. A CBT therapist's role is to help them understand the true impact of following these values and the strategies to implement them, which will bring them great fulfillment.

Or let's take Liza for example, my friend, whom I mentioned in the "How to Live and Plan According to Your Personal Values" article.

Liza spent a long time working in Manhattan, serving cocktails to people like Beyoncé or Anna Wintour. She lived according to the rhythm of New York values and experienced burnout almost every year. However, her dream of hosting aesthetic and author's dinners was always delayed.

So maybe you are living with values that are not your own. This can create obstacles to realizing your potential. In this case, I also have an article that will help you integrate your values into your life: How to Live and Plan According to Your Personal Values.

What can you do?

Once you have identified your core values, it is important to integrate them into your life in a way that provides guidance. This involves:

• Setting goals and creating plans that are in line with your values
• Making decisions based on your values
• Surrounding yourself with people who support your values
• Recognizing and celebrating your successes and achievements in these areas

But if you feel that your potential or values are not cool enough, try conducting a psychological experiment:

Step 1. Live by your true personal values for 3 months. Apply them in all aspects of your life and monitor your emotions. Keep a journal to track your mood and energy.

Step 2. Over the next 3 months, live by values you find cool. Apply them in all areas of your life and use the journal to observe yourself. Keep track of your mood and energy.

Step 3. Compare your life in these time periods. When did you feel happier, more motivated, and inspired? And when did you feel more stressed, anxious, and dissatisfied with yourself?

Choose the set of values that you liked the most, and then start developing your potential associated with them.

Sometimes, our confidence in our ideals and vision of the future can blind us to the realities of others. When we solely focus on our idealized version of the world, it can impede our progress towards our goals, especially when working in teams and interacting with others. Therefore, it is important not only to uphold our own values but also to consider the values and perspectives of others. The sooner we understand the reality and motivations of those around us, the better equipped we will be to navigate the challenges and opportunities ahead.

Understanding the reality and motivations of others allows us to strategically navigate our potential for success, much like playing a game of chess.

"What can you do" part I will demonstrate with an example:

"In the past, one of the biggest obstacles to my personal growth was my belief in an inherent justice within the world. I believed that the world follows a logical framework that everyone should follow. If someone in my professional environment did not align with my perception of what was right or wrong, I would quickly distance myself from them or end the relationship. However, in order to have a successful career or business, it is essential to collaborate with others, even if they have different values.

Over time, I came to realize that my values are just a part of my own background and life journey and that everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives.

As a result, I have become more pragmatic and less emotionally driven. My focus now lies in building partnerships and relationships with employees based on a mutual exchange of interests."

Serhei Divin, Сo-Founder of RE:DESIGN Academy of Visual Communication, Ex-Managing Director EPAM Systems

Sometimes, working harder without a purpose is not the answer.
So, if you know what you want and your values, it's important to have clear goals and plans. Without them, your progress may become chaotic and your motivation may fade quickly. Often, people who lack clear goals tend to talk about their ideas without taking action.

What can you do?

Therefore, it is important to choose a life area that resonates with you and set your goals:

• Inspiring
• Specific
• Measurable
• Realistic
• Time-bound

It is best to set goals for each month and year based on your personal values.

If you have a list of your goals for 2023 or 2024, see if these goals match your values. If you find goals that go against your values, ask yourself, "Why do I need this?". Otherwise, you might have goals that you don't really need, which can cause unnecessary worry and stress. You can find more about this in the article "Finding Your North Star: How to Live and Plan According to Your Values".

I often meet people with unrealistic expectations and high standards. Such demands on oneself and one's potential tend to hinder rather than motivate a person. This happens because they fall into a vicious cycle.

Ultimately, striving for perfection can backfire and cause us to become stuck, delay tasks, and feel disappointed. My IT experience has taught me the importance of taking incremental action and completing tasks at a necessary level, rather than striving for perfection. This approach helps me learn quickly and make progress.

Here is an excellent example of how my friend Julia handled the high expectations of modern women:

"As a mother, while also being an entrepreneur, I faced unrealistic expectations, scattered attention, and overwhelming guilt. This really slowed me down. On the outside, the culture of Silicon Valley, where I lived, painted a picture of successful women effortlessly juggling everything. However, as I delved deeper, I discovered that everyone has their moments of "failure," and my feelings of guilt started to fade away. That's when I chose to stop putting pressure on myself to be the "perfect woman" in every way, and I also refused to let others do it.

The "Priorities in the Moment" approach is very helpful in balancing my roles as a mother and a professional. I prioritize my well-being and adjust my priorities as necessary. I focus on areas that need attention, recognizing that perfection isn't always attainable in all aspects at any given moment."

Julia Prakapovich, a mother of two children, venture capitalist, Founding Partner at Interface Fund

What can you do?

For fans of high standards, there is an excellent technique from CBT called the 80% Principle. It can help you manage unrealistically high expectations of yourself and your work. Try conducting an experiment by completing all tasks at 80% for a whole month. Before you begin, explain the tasks you have planned and what you expect from this activity. Also, share how you feel about this approach. Once you finish, review and record the results.

• How has your efficiency and speed changed?
• How has completing tasks at 80% influenced the outcome?
• How has your productivity and emotional state changed with this approach?

Modern psychologists link the fear of taking risks to excessive focus on fears of failure and negative beliefs, such as:

- "Failure is a disaster"
- "I don't know how to deal with problems"
- "Another failure? Ugh, I'm screwed. I won't be able to handle it, and everything will go to hell."
- "What if I screw up and everyone sees me messing up?"
- "I should strive to avoid problems

To unleash your potential, it is important to learn how to deal with the fear of failure and various negative and unrealistic beliefs. The key is to try to see the situation objectively, rather than with black-and-white thinking. Remember the great reward that awaits you on this journey.

What can you do?

Focus on finding opportunities for growth and the reward you will receive if you try:
Step 1. Make sure you have your basic needs met in a safe way.

Step 2. Outline all the risks that may pose a threat to your desired goal. For each risk, create an action plan detailing how you will address it. Your goal is to predict any possible challenges and actively prepare strategies to reduce their impact.

Step 3. If you have completed the previous steps but still fear taking risks, work on your mindset and attitude towards failure, risks, and problems.

Instead of thinking:
- "Problems suck" or "Failure is a disaster"
- "I don't think I can deal with failing in front of everyone."
- "I am not good at dealing with problems."
- "I should strive to avoid failure.
and other negative beliefs about failures, risks, or difficulties.

Try to cultivate more positive and realistic attitudes:
- "Problems are normal in life, stay calm when facing them"
- "Most problems can be solved or I can learn to live with them."
- "I can deal with most problems and get better at handling them if I need to."
- "I won't kick the bucket if I mess up with this thing"
- "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
- "Failure isn't as crucial, what matters is the valuable experience I'll gain."

Delayed life syndrome is a common phenomenon in today's society. Many people spend a lot of time analyzing themselves, preparing for change, or waiting for luck. They believe that when the perfect moment comes, they will start living a happy life. Instead of taking immediate action and making changes, these individuals constantly delay their actions, promising to do them "as soon as possible." As a result, they repeatedly postpone reaching their full potential and fail to make progress.

• "Now is not the right time."
• "My idea is not well thought out enough yet."
• "I haven't found suitable people yet."
• "I have little experience yet."
• "I don't have a big enough financial safety net yet."

However, there might not be a perfect moment to begin embracing your potential. Once you grasp this concept, life will start to showcase a variety of vibrant hues.

What can you do?

Try starting with small steps that you can take to move towards your potential. They are detailed in steps 3 and 4.

If you're not sure when to make a decision, you can use this technique to evaluate your options and move forward. It's called the "Decision-Making Algorithm" from cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Perhaps you are a person with a fixed mindset. Some people think that intelligence, talent, and other abilities are natural and cannot be changed. If they are not very good at something, they usually think they will never be good at it. People with a fixed mindset often fear or even avoid changes. Unlike people with a growth mindset, who believe that intelligence and talent can be developed through practice and effort. They know that everyone was once a beginner.

To realize your potential, you must embrace change and learn to see growth opportunities within it. I have a client who has a fixed mindset. She strongly believes that:

1. She doubts her intelligence and talent, which leads to intense anxiety even during simple tasks.
2. She fears interacting with new people whom she perceives to be smarter and more talented.
3. She tends to view most failures as final, often failing to take steps to improve the situation or herself.

To help alter this mindset, we utilize various "reality tests" through behavioral experiments, observing the actual outcomes in real life.

What can you do?

Challenge the fixed mindset:
1. Choose a sphere or an activity where you would like to test your abilities. Secure the support of at least one person who believes in you.

2. Detail your plans. Outline how you will proceed despite self-criticism. Establish a plan with objectives. Anticipate potential difficulties and devise strategies to overcome them.

3. Act. Positive thoughts fuel action. Even if you are unsure about success, make a decision and act.

4. Catch yourself when you think in terms of a fixed mindset. If you err, don't lose hope, instead, consider how to improve next time. Avoid saying that you're not cut out for this or not born to do this. Concentrate on your efforts and accomplishments.

5. Avoid overreacting to problems. If you encounter failure and believe you lacked the necessary skills, remember that learning is always possible. Your first attempt may not succeed, but don't lose hope. Use the experience to learn and try again. If the second attempt fails, be persistent. Replace the thought "I can't do this" with "I may not succeed immediately, but I can learn. Practice makes perfect.

6. Reflect after each significant effort. Reflection is crucial for a growth mindset. If you don't assess your role in your successes or failures, it's challenging to develop a strategy for self-improvement. Ask yourself about your efforts, strategies, and resources:

• Could I have practiced harder?
• Was my practice routine good?
• Could I get ready better for the next attempt?

If you are surrounded by people who do not understand you, do not support you, or even devalue your efforts, moving forward to your potential becomes extremely difficult.

Look around. Perhaps you lack like-minded people who share your interests, help you develop, or at least just believe in you. Especially if you see your potential in the business sphere, it will be hellishly difficult here without allies. And most often, those who can build strong partnerships come to success. Here is one of my favorite stories on this subject:

What can you do?

To find allies who will assist in achieving your goals and support your journey towards realizing your potential, follow these steps:

1. Set a goal to locate people who share your interests. Participate in communities and organizations where you can encounter like-minded people. Even finding one such person can be significantly valuable.
2. Stay open to meeting new people and exploring new opportunities. Ask your friends to introduce you to interesting people. Don't hesitate to step outside your comfort zone and initiate conversations with strangers.
3. Be lively and real when chatting with possible allies. Ask questions, share your thoughts, and give suggestions. Help them with their projects and ideas. Share your knowledge and experiences with others.

Success can be hard to attain when you're grappling with your own mind. People with mental health issues often face additional hurdles.

• Depression can leave you feeling so exhausted and depleted that even simple tasks take three times as long to complete.

• Anxiety means having too many thoughts about the future that take your focus away from now. Constant worries can quickly drain your energy and increase negative thoughts about yourself.

• ADHD in adults often impacts those with high IQ the most. They may not use their full potential because they find it hard to finish tasks or they tend to give up right before they succeed.

• Personality disorders can make you spend a lot of time dealing with people who don't understand you. This takes away time that you could use to reach your goals.

What can you do?

Seek appropriate support or treatment from a psychotherapist, coach, or cognitive-behavioral therapy consultant. This type of specialist will create a safe space, help you to see things from a new perspective, and guide you in exploring new ways of thinking and being, thus unlocking your potential.

For the past 3 years, I've been developing products to help women manage anxiety, and I've also been working in one-on-one coaching. This experience has shown me that people with high anxiety have a lot of strength and unused potential. However, most often, these people waste their energy worrying about a future that, with a 90% likelihood, will not occur. I strongly suggest reconsidering this harmful habit.

Anxiety is a sign of strength and energy. Women with anxiety possess a valuable asset - abundant energy. With the right anxiety management skills and cognitive-behavioral therapy, this energy can be redirected to achieve great things.

People who worry constantly tend to spend most of their time worrying about the same things without doing anything to solve the problem. They often believe that worrying helps them cope with problems, but this is usually a misconception. It leads to nervous breakdowns, an inability to relax, and burnout. Problems need to be solved with action, not worry. Here are some common misconceptions about the usefulness of worry that may hinder your progress:

What can you do?

So, if you're already fed up with your "What if..." and negative thoughts, here's a smart CBT technique to help you find peace of mind.

Step 1. What is bothering me? Write down all your anxious thoughts racing in your head. Pick the most disturbing one and process it.
For instance, what if there are more layoffs and I get affected?

Step 2. Is there anything I can do about it?

• If not, it's too hypothetical and pointless to worry about at the moment.

So, I should shift my focus and emotions towards another activity, distancing myself from this thought.

• If the answer is Yes, I collect information and create an action plan to solve the problem

Step 3. Can I do anything from this plan right now?

• If the answer is "no", I plan what and when I can do and switch my attention.
• If the answer is yes, I do my best for the moment. Then I move on to something more enjoyable.

That's what it's like, a healthy process of worrying.
Don't try to worry less. Worry smarter.

Unlocking your potential can be challenging, yet it's achievable and certainly worth the effort. Each person carries considerable potential. Thus, it's vital to find the strength and determination to not only recognize your values and potential, but also to actively implement them in your daily life. Ideally, you can develop your potential to its fullest to attain happiness and accomplish your life goals.