We make big and small choices every day, and when they align with our values, our lives become happier and more meaningful. This article focuses on how to plan your life and make decisions based on your values.
Finding Your North Star: How to Live and Plan According to Your Values
7 minutes reading + practice
If you're thinking any of the following,
read this article:
read this article:
"I feel like I'm not living my life"
"Everything seems important to me, and I can't not do it"
"Everything seems important to me, and I can't not do it"
"My life has too many "have to's" and not enough "want to's."
Story of two choices in my life
1. The Story of a Difficult Choice
Once, I faced a difficult choice. 5 years ago, I worked for the wonderful company Flo Health, which produces the best product in the world for women's health. I loved the team and the mission.
I had to decide between staying in my current position with a great salary and team or abandoning the idea of becoming a product manager. Alternatively, I could leave and find a new job where I could learn and develop as a product manager, which was my passion.
Growth or Comfort?
That's a classic dilemma!
Staying was easier than leaving. But I chose growth and new skills because it aligned with my personal life values:
Once, I faced a difficult choice. 5 years ago, I worked for the wonderful company Flo Health, which produces the best product in the world for women's health. I loved the team and the mission.
I had to decide between staying in my current position with a great salary and team or abandoning the idea of becoming a product manager. Alternatively, I could leave and find a new job where I could learn and develop as a product manager, which was my passion.
Growth or Comfort?
That's a classic dilemma!
Staying was easier than leaving. But I chose growth and new skills because it aligned with my personal life values:
- Exciting development
- Making smth that helps people
- Health
As a result, I trusted my values and made a decision based on them rather than on temporary needs and conveniences.
It has now been five years, and everything is going great. I have since become a product manager and even launched two of my own startups in the field of mental health. I am glad that I made the choice to pursue development.
2. A Story of Easier Choices.
Yesterday I went to see Oppenheimer in the cinema. And I had to choose food for the 3-hour session. My husband took Pringles and suggested I do the same. I really love them, but I love my stomach more :) So I chose cherries as a snack for the movie.
Yes, they were super expensive (I live in Indonesia), and it was harder to bring them into the movie theater, but when it comes to health, it's worth it. Ultimately, I was satisfied with the food choice, but I was really disappointed with this Nolan movie and my favorite actor Killian Murphy. I even cried about it. But that's another story :(((
Yesterday I went to see Oppenheimer in the cinema. And I had to choose food for the 3-hour session. My husband took Pringles and suggested I do the same. I really love them, but I love my stomach more :) So I chose cherries as a snack for the movie.
Yes, they were super expensive (I live in Indonesia), and it was harder to bring them into the movie theater, but when it comes to health, it's worth it. Ultimately, I was satisfied with the food choice, but I was really disappointed with this Nolan movie and my favorite actor Killian Murphy. I even cried about it. But that's another story :(((
What are personal values and why do they matter
More about personal values and their role in our lives, you can find in my previous article "Guide for Women: How to Identify Personal Values to Reduce Anxiety." Here are the main points from there:
Values are the principles and beliefs that guide your decisions and actions in life. They are what is most important to you and reflect what you stand for.
Your values are:
"Following your values helps you love this life, worry less, and deal with difficulties more easily."
Values are very different than goals. Goals are future-focused and have defined destinations, such as learning a new skill at work or losing 10 pounds. Values are more directions on a compass than specific targets, such as being honest when dating or being physically active.
Here are some benefits of living a values-based life:
Values are the principles and beliefs that guide your decisions and actions in life. They are what is most important to you and reflect what you stand for.
Your values are:
- Unique to you. Values make you, you.
- Established in childhood, these are the foundation of your character.
- Likely to stay with you for life, barring any significant upheavals
"Following your values helps you love this life, worry less, and deal with difficulties more easily."
Values are very different than goals. Goals are future-focused and have defined destinations, such as learning a new skill at work or losing 10 pounds. Values are more directions on a compass than specific targets, such as being honest when dating or being physically active.
Here are some benefits of living a values-based life:
- Feel more pleasure and fulfillment in life
- Help you love and enjoy life
- Set meaningful goals and plans
- Give structure to your life
- Ensure authenticity in your life
- Help you to say no
- Connect with others and build relationships
- Better cope with difficulties
- Help you to make a difference in the world ✨
How to live and plan according to your values
- Align your TOP-3 important life areas with your values.
For example, your current priorities might be:
It is important that the goals in each of these areas match your values.
Life area: Work, Business
Value: Inspiring Development
Connection: The connection is that I have decided to further develop my skills at work and improve my ability to present ideas by actively participating in brainstorming sessions and conferences. As a result, my main value of personal development is present throughout the work process, which brings me both pleasure and other benefits.
- Quality of life
- Relationships
- Work
- Through what common goals?
- Through what activities?
- Through what plans?
It is important that the goals in each of these areas match your values.
Life area: Work, Business
Value: Inspiring Development
Connection: The connection is that I have decided to further develop my skills at work and improve my ability to present ideas by actively participating in brainstorming sessions and conferences. As a result, my main value of personal development is present throughout the work process, which brings me both pleasure and other benefits.
2. Set/Check your goals
Setting goals that align with your values can be a powerful way to live them out more fully. For example, if one of your values is creativity, you may set a goal to take an art class or start a new creative project.
If you have a list of your goals for 2023, check if they align with your values. If there are any goals that contradict your values, ask yourself why you need them. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation like my friend with extra goals. This could be causing unnecessary anxiety and stress. Read about it in the article "Guide for Women: How to Identify Personal Values to Reduce Anxiety."
Setting goals that align with your values can be a powerful way to live them out more fully. For example, if one of your values is creativity, you may set a goal to take an art class or start a new creative project.
If you have a list of your goals for 2023, check if they align with your values. If there are any goals that contradict your values, ask yourself why you need them. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation like my friend with extra goals. This could be causing unnecessary anxiety and stress. Read about it in the article "Guide for Women: How to Identify Personal Values to Reduce Anxiety."
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3. Make decisions based on your values
When faced with a decision, consider how it aligns with your values. If it doesn't align with your values, it may not be the right choice for you.
However, it can be challenging to align all solutions directly with our values as we are only human. Strive to align at least part of key decisions with your values. Especially in these areas:
When faced with a decision, consider how it aligns with your values. If it doesn't align with your values, it may not be the right choice for you.
However, it can be challenging to align all solutions directly with our values as we are only human. Strive to align at least part of key decisions with your values. Especially in these areas:
- Daily habits
- People around
- Free time
- Future
4. Celebrate your successes
When you make decisions and take actions that align with your values, celebrate your successes. This can help reinforce that you're on the right path and give you the motivation to keep going.
When you make decisions and take actions that align with your values, celebrate your successes. This can help reinforce that you're on the right path and give you the motivation to keep going.
"These feelings — gratitude, compassion, and pride — are easier to generate than the willpower and self-denial that underpin traditional approaches to self-control and grit. And while willpower is quickly depleted, prosocial emotions actually become stronger the more we use them."
— DAVID DESTENO, PHD
— DAVID DESTENO, PHD
Celebrate in fun ways that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Decide to celebrate in ways that speak to you and what you enjoy most. Here are my favorite ways to celebrate wins:
- Dinner party or Solo Date
- Massage or SPA
- Big or Small Journey
- Sunset on the beach
- Buy something for hobbies
5. Evaluate your current situation
Take a look at your current situation and consider how it aligns with your values. Are there areas where you could make changes to live more in line with your values?
Practice self-awareness: Living and planning according to your values requires self-awareness. Pay attention to how you feel when you make decisions that align with your values and how you feel when you don't. This will help you stay true to your values and make decisions that are in line with who you are.
Take a look at your current situation and consider how it aligns with your values. Are there areas where you could make changes to live more in line with your values?
Practice self-awareness: Living and planning according to your values requires self-awareness. Pay attention to how you feel when you make decisions that align with your values and how you feel when you don't. This will help you stay true to your values and make decisions that are in line with who you are.
6. Seek support and like-minded people
Living and planning according to your values can be challenging, especially if your values differ from those of the people around you. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you stay true to your values and live the life you want.
Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. I'm always here to help! You can send me a message on Instagram and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Living and planning according to your values can be challenging, especially if your values differ from those of the people around you. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you stay true to your values and live the life you want.
Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything. I'm always here to help! You can send me a message on Instagram and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Living and planning according to your values is an amazing way to experience more satisfaction, meaning, and joy in life! Always remember that it is a journey, not a destination, and it requires effort and self-reflection. The rewards are massive, and you truly deserve to live a life you may not have even dreamed of.
- Amabile TM, Kramer SJ. The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work. Harvard Business Review Press; 2011.
- Personal Values and Decision-Making Biases
- Research Gate. Values and Values Work in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy https://www.researchgate.net/publication/298011655_Values_and_values_work_in_cognitive_behavioral_therapy
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#values #women #anxiety
Hi! I'm Sia Science Witch.
I believe anxiety is a gift, not a curse, and I can prove it.
I believe anxiety is a gift, not a curse, and I can prove it.
#about #mission #story
#anxiety #signs #self-assessment
Happy to have you on my blog!
My name is Sia Marinich and I am a certified coach and consultant in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), as well as the CEO of CenterMe, a mental health startup.
In this blog, I focus on learning and adapting the most effective CBT tools to help women manage anxiety, stress, and their self criticism, which can hinder them from reaching their full potential.
In this blog, I focus on learning and adapting the most effective CBT tools to help women manage anxiety, stress, and their self criticism, which can hinder them from reaching their full potential.
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